Тексты на экзамен по дисциплине Английский язык

1 Junior Genius

James Stoker was fifteen years old when he became the youngest fully qualified doctor in the United States. James was a genius. By the age of three he had learnt to read and write. Before his sixth birthday his father had taught him to speak three languages fluently and he could play the violin perfectly. James spent his time reading and studying. After he had passed his school leaving exams at the age of nine, he went to college. A year and a half later, he had finished college and started at a medical school. At the age of twelve, he didn't know what football was, because nobody had taught him how to play. There hadn't been time. At fifteen, he was ready to take the final examination. On the morning of the exam, although he had been studying for 48 hours he wasn't tired. After the exam he walked through the park, but he didn't arrive home until seven o'clock in the evening, very tired and very dirty. What had he been doing? His mother wondered. He had met some eight-year-olds in the park. They had been teaching him how to play football.

2 Old Arthur

Everyone knows him as Old Arthur. He lives in a little hut in the middle of a small wood, about a mile from the village. He visits the village store twice a week to buy food and paraffin, and occasionally he collects letters and his pension from the post office. A few weeks ago a reporter from the local newspaper interviewed him. This is what he said:

I get up every morning with the birds. There is a stream near my hut and I fetch water from there. It's good, clear, fresh water, better than you get in the city. Occasionally, in the winter, I have to break the ice. I cook simple food on my old paraffin stove; mostly stews and things like that. Sometimes I go to the pub and have a drink, but I don't see many people. I don't feel lonely. I know this wood very well, you see. I know all the little birds and animals that live here and they know me. I don't have much money, but I don't need much. I think I'm a lucky man.

paraffin ['pǽrǽfin] n керосин, stew [stju:] тушеное мясо, hut хижина

3 David in the Snowstorm

In London it doesn't often snow, but when it does, life becomes very difficult for everyone. Cars have to go very slowly because the roads are covered in ice and wet snow, so there are traffic jams, and lots of people arrive late for work. The snow usually melts quickly and this makes the pavements dangerous and unpleasant to walk on. Only children really like the snow. David works in the local library. He usually goes to work by bus, but this morning he's walking because there don't seem to be any buses. He is wearing his winter coat and a scarf, but it is still snowing and the wet snow is trickling down his neck, and making him feel very uncomfortable. He's looking forward to having a nice, hot cup of coffee.

to trickle down капать

4 Jane Isn't Very Pleased

John rang Jane last week. He wanted to invite her to the theatre. She was free on Friday, so they arranged to meet outside the theatre at seven. It was raining and John came twenty minutes late. Jane wasn't very pleased. They saw a thriller, but it wasn't very good. In fact, it was awful. They went to an Italian restaurant after the theatre and had pizza and wine. The pizza was terrible and the wine wasn't very good. John found he didn't have any money, so Jane paid for the meal. It was late when they came out of the restaurant and there were no buses and no taxis, so they walked home in the rain. John rang again the following Saturday to invite Jane to the cinema. Jane said she wasn't free.

5 What's the Matter?

Yesterday Helen woke up at seven thirty. She had a quick shower, a cup of coffee, got into her car and drove to work. She found a parking space outside the office door. "That's very strange," she thought as she walked up to the front door of the office building; usually there were a lot of cars outside the office and she left her car in another street.

The door was locked when she tried to open it. This was very unusual. She looked at her watch... it was exactly nine o'clock! "The door is never locked at nine o'clock," she said to herself. She took out her key and unlocked the door.

As she walked into the office, Helen saw that all the windows were closed. It was summer and her secretary opened the windows and curtains when she arrived in the morning. But Helen's secretary wasn't at her desk this morning. "Is there anybody here?" she shouted nervously. There was no answer.

Helen went to her office and sat down behind her desk. What was the matter? Where was everyone? Then she saw her diary on the desk. "Oh no!" she said. "Today is Sunday!"

6 Reward for Virtue

My friend, Herbert, has always been fat, but things got so bad recently that he decided to go on a diet. He began his diet a week ago. First of all, he wrote a long list of the foods which were forbidden. The list included most of the things Herbert loves: butter, potatoes, rice, beer, milk, chocolate and sweets. Yesterday I paid him a visit. I rang the bell and was not surprised to see that Herbert was still as fat as ever. He led me into his room and hurriedly hid a large parcel under his desk. It was obvious that he was very embarrassed. When I asked him what he was doing, he smiled guiltily and then put the parcel on the desk. He explained that his diet was so strict that he had to reward himself occasionally. Then he showed me the contents of the parcel. It contained five large bars of chocolate and three bags of sweets!

reward награда virtue ['və:tju:] добродетель

7 Do the English Speak English?

I arrived in London at last. The railway station was big, black and dark. I did not know the way to my hotel, so I asked a porter. I not only spoke English very carefully, but very clearly as well. The porter, however, could not understand me. I repeated my question several times and at last he understood. He answered me, but he spoke neither slowly nor clearly. "I'm a foreigner," I said. Then he spoke slowly, but I could not understand him. My teacher never spoke English like that! The porter and I looked at each other and smiled. Then he said something and I understood it. "You'll soon learn English!" he said. I wonder. In England, each man speaks a different language. The English understand each other, but I don't understand them! Do they speak English?

8 A Private Conversation

Last week I went to the theatre. I had a very good seat. The play was very interesting but I did not enjoy it. A young man and a young woman were sitting behind me. They were talking loudly. I got very angry. I looked at the man and the woman angrily. They did not pay any attention. In the end I could not bear it. I turned round again. "I can't hear a word!" I said angrily. "It's none of your business," the young man said rudely. "This is a private conversation!"

9 Too Late

The plane was late and detectives were waiting at the airport all morning. They were expecting a valuable parcel of diamonds from South Africa. A few hours earlier, someone had told the police that thieves would try to steal the diamonds. When the plane arrived, some of the detectives were waiting inside the main building while others were waiting on the airfield. Two men took the parcel off the plane and carried it into the Customs House. While two detectives were keeping guard at the door, two others opened the parcel. To their surprise, the precious parcel was full of stones and sand!

10 An Experience on the Tube

A woman is talking about her experience on the tube.

I was travelling from Hamburg to London. In fact it was on my way from Heathrow. I was very tired and I was looking forward to getting home. As I was walking along the platform I saw two men walk up behind a young woman. She was carrying her handbag over her shoulder. It was open. I was carrying two suitcases, but I walked quickly and came up behind the two men. As one of them took the purse out of the handbag, I told him to put it back. He dropped it immediately, turned and ran.

11 Hitch-hiking

James was a student at Oxford University, where he was studying law. Like many students he did not have much money because his grant was only just enough to live on. Last year, during the autumn term, he decided to go to Manchester to visit some friends for the weekend, but he could not afford a train ticket, and even the coach was too expensive, so he had to hitchhike. He caught a bus to the beginning of the motorway and waited. It was a cold, windy November day and while he was waiting he got soaked to the skin. After waiting two hours he finally got a lift from a lorry driver, who was in fact going all the way to Manchester. James felt extremely relieved. The lorry driver seemed a friendly fellow of around 35, reasonably well-dressed and he and James talked a lot. Suddenly, as they were driving along the motorway, a police car raced past them and made them stop. They were taken to the police station because the police suspected that the lorry was carrying stolen goods. A detective interrogated James for two hours, and he even had to spend the night in a cell. He was eventually released the next day. Apparently, the lorry was carrying stolen television sets. James swore that he would never hitchhike again.

12 What A Terrible Holiday

Tom MacDonald is talking about his holiday at Vista Beach.

I have just come back from a fortnight at Vista Beach. What a terrible holiday! The weather was awful, the town was boring, the hotel was dreadful and I spent all the money. It rained almost every day and there was a strong wind which blew from the sea, so that even when it didn't rain it was impossible to sit on the beach. There wasn't much to do in the town - not many interesting places to visit. So I stayed in the hotel most days and read a lot of books and watched a lot of rain. In the evenings I went out to bars and discos and I drank a lot of wine - there were hundreds of bars. The night life was good, but I didn't talk too many people, because I didn't feel well.The hotel looked beautiful in the travel brochure but when I got there I found it was small and dirty. Most of the meals were badly cooked and the waiters were slow and rather rude. I had a tiny room with one small window and a beautiful view of the local fish market. What a smell! And what a noise! At five o'clock every morning the sound of lorries, fishermen and people at the market always woke me up. I am back in England now and I need a holiday.

13 A Day in the Country

Today most people have a job of some kind, and their only free time is at the weekends. What do people do with this time? Let's take the Barclay family, for example. James Barclay works in one of Britain's larger cities. He's in his middle forties. His wife is a secretary and they have two children, one ten and one thirteen. They have an old car, and about once a month they are able to get out into the country. We talked to Jennifer, the eldest daughter: "We don't go out a lot but sometimes we go to a place in the country which Mum and Dad know. I think they knew it when they were, you know, younger. It's got a lake, well a pond really, and trees. The dog likes it, he can run around and nobody really minds. It's a very quiet place. Dad doesn't do very much. Often he just sleeps. Mum talks to the dog. Once, earlier this spring, Mum and Dad stopped at a pub for a drink. Dad didn't want to stop because he said it was too expensive, but we stopped anyway, and Mum and Dad went inside. Sharon and I stayed in the garden with the dog. Anyway, I think Mum drank a bit too much. Dad didn't. He's too frightened of the police. You know, drinking and driving. Anyway, we were driving down this road and we were stopped by the police. The policeman asked Dad to blow into the bag, but he was really nervous and he couldn't do it. He's never been stopped by the police before. Sharon and I were laughing in the back seat, but Mum was furious. "Give me that bag!" she shouted at Dad. She took it from him and blew into it herself. "See?" she said to Dad. "Like that!" The policeman looked at the bag, and then at my Mum. He said, "I can see you've had a few drinks, madam. It's lucky you're not driving!"

14 An Old Man Remembers

An old man was sitting on a seat in a small park, surrounded by new red brick houses. A young man with a dog came up and sat down beside him.

"It's all changed," said the old man, shaking his head sadly. "You see over there, where those houses are. That used to be the orchard. They used to grow some of the finest pears and apples in the County there.

And over there; you see that house with the green door; there used to be a pond there. When I was a lad, we often used to fish in it. I don't know what happened to that pond. It must be there somewhere under somebody's foundations."

"Are you sure it was there?" asked the young man. "Where the house with the green door stands?" "I'm positive," replied the old man. The young man looked a little anxious. "That's my house," he said, "the one with the green door."

15 My Childhood

Sometimes I think about my childhood and remember how simple my life used to be. My life is different today. I have more responsibilities today and more pressure. I used to live in a big house with my parents and brothers and sisters. My mother used to cook my meals and wash my clothes. My father used to play soccer with me. Sometimes, on the weekend, we used to go fishing together. If I needed something, I used to ask my family. They used to give me money for school books and clothes. Sometimes they gave me money so I could go to the movies. When I was little, I didn't have to get up too early and I didn't have much homework. Today, I have to take care of myself No one else cooks my meals or washes my clothes. And no one else pays my rent. Today, I don't have much time for soccer and fishing. I have to get up early, and I have to work hard. If I want to go to the movies or go on a date, I have to save my money. No one else gives it to me. And I have to worry about my flat tires and running out of gas. Yes, it's hard work being an adult!

16 What a Cat-astrophe!

It happened about five years ago. I had invited my girlfriend, Emma, and her parents to dinner. I hadn't met her parents before and I wanted to impress them. I had planned soup first, then fresh salmon and a chocolate mousse for dessert. In fact, I was quite looking forward to it.

On the day of the dinner, I got home from work early and started to prepare the meal. Everything went fine. Emma and her parents arrived and, after giving them a drink in the sitting-room, I went into the kitchen to do the last minute preparations for the meal. I removed the fish, which was now ready, from the oven and decided to leave it in the kitchen while we were having the soup. When I went into the kitchen to bring in the fish, to my horror I found my cat looking very pleased with himself in the middle of the kitchen. He had, of course, eaten the entire salmon and there were bits of bone all over the floor! Needless to say, Emma's parents were very understanding. In the end, we all went to a Chinese restaurant and I suppose it wasn't such a bad evening, all in all. However, I don't think I'll let the cat anywhere near the kitchen in future.

17 Superstitions

Not long ago I was invited out to dinner by a girl called Sally. I had only met Sally twice, and she was very, very beautiful. I was flattered. "She likes me," I thought. But I was in for a disappointment. "I'm so sorry we asked you at such short notice," she said when I arrived, "but we suddenly realised there were going to be thirteen people at the table, so we just had to find somebody else." A superstition. Thirteen. The unlucky number. Recently I came upon a little group of worried people, gathered round a man lying on the pavement beside a busy London road. They were waiting for an ambulance, because the man had been knocked down by a passing taxi. Apparently he had stepped off the pavement and into the street, to avoid walking under a ladder. They say this superstition goes back to the days when the gallows (виселица) were built on a platform. To get up to the platform you had to climb a ladder. To pass under the shadow of that ladder was very unlucky...

superstition [,sju:pə'stiƒ(o)n)] суеверие, предрассудок flatter ['flǽtə] льстить

18 Oh, No!

It was quite late on a Saturday night and we were having supper in our new house. Things still felt a bit strange so we didn't lake much notice when we heard someone moving about noisily in the house next door- the house was semi-detached. We thought it was a bit strange that our neighbours should be doing their housework so late on a Saturday night but thought no more of it. Then we heard men's voices talking softly. From the window I could see figures moving backwards and forwards in the front garden. We assumed that our neighbours were having some sort of party. Not long after, we heard the front door slam shut. Then complete silence. We thought this was a bit strange, because we naturally expected to hear other people leaving and saying goodbye. However we went to bed and forgot all about it. At breakfast time, early the next day, we heard someone shouting "Oh, no!" Our neighbours had just arrived back home from holiday to discover that thieves had taken all their furniture and valuables from the house.

19 Quiet Life

When Mr. Brown retired, he bought a small cottage in a seaside

The cottage was built in fifteen eighty eight, but was in a very good condition. Mr. Brown was looking forward to a quiet life but in the summer holidays he got a shock. Hundreds of tourists came to the seaside village. Mr. Brown's cottage was the most interesting building in the village and many of the tourists came to see it. From morning till night there were tourists outside the cottage. They kept looking through the windows and many of them even went into Mr. Brown's garden. This was too much for Mr. Brown He decided to drive the unwelcome visitors away, so he put a notice in the window. The notice said: "If you want to satisfy your curiosity come in and look round. Price: ten pence." Mr. Brown was sure that the visitors would stop coming but he was wrong. The number of the visitors increased and Mr. Brown spent every day showing them round the cottage. "I came here to retire, not to work as a guide," he complained. In the end, he sold the cottage and bought a small modern house. It is an uninteresting little place and no one wants to see it. But it is certainly quiet and peaceful.

20 The Mayor's Order

Long ago, when there were no street lamps in towns and cities, the mayor of a town ordered the people not to go out without lanterns.. The next night he met a man in a street and said to him, "Do you know my order?" "Yes, I do," answered the man. "But you have no lantern," said the mayor. "Yes, I have," said the man. "But there is no candle in your lantern," said the mayor. "The order said nothing about candles," answered the man. The next day the people of the town learnt a new order. The order said that people must put candles in their lanterns. In the evening the mayor met the same man. "Where is your lantern?" he asked. "Here it is," said the man and showed his lantern to the mayor. "But there is no candle in it," cried the mayor. "There is," said the man and showed the candle. "But you didn't light your candle," cried the angry mayor. "The order did not say that we must light the candles." So the mayor gave a new order. It said that the people must light candles in their lanterns.

21 Scottish Humour

A Scottish gentleman was spending his holidays in Vienna, The town was very beautiful and his guide was a very beautiful young lady too. She was his guide in the town and in the country. "1 will have the best memories of her," he thought. Before he left he decided to give her some present to thank her for her kindness. He wanted to be sure that the present was something that she'd like. And he asked her what present she'd like best of all. "You know very well" she said, "that I like to look beautiful and to put on beautiful things. Give me something for my neck, for my fingers or for my ears." Next morning the Scottish gentleman appeared with a present. A diamond ring? A golden bracelet? No, it was a piece of soap.

22 G hosts

It was Friday 13 January 1985. The Samsons had just moved into an old house in Borley in Essex. The house, built about two hundred years earlier, had once belonged to a man called Boyson. Some people in the village said the house was haunted. They said that Boyson's daughter Mary had fallen in love with Harold, a blacksmith from the village. Knowing that her father would not allow them to marry, Mary had planned to run away with Harold. But her father, having overheard their plans, locked Mary in her room and shot Harold. When Mary found out, she hanged herself. Her father, realizing that he had done something terrible, died of a broken heart. One night, John Samson was lying in bed reading. Suddenly he heard a strange moaning noise, like a man crying. Seconds later, the cigarette he was smoking went out and the room turned cold. Again he thought he heard someone crying and moving about. Having searched all the rooms, he decided it must have been the wind. Being very tired, he fell asleep, with a lighted cigarette in his hand... He dreamt that he could hear someone knocking loudly and that he could smell something burning. But I wasn't a dream. The bedroom curtains were on fire! Samson ran out of the house. Fifty people from the village gathered outside, watching the burning house. A policeman thought he saw a young woman trapped in an upstairs room, knocking at the window, but there was nobody in the house. Several people saw two figures wearing dark clothes walking through the flames. An old man with a beard stood crying at the door... No bodies were found in the ruins. No one was surprised.

23 On Christmas Eve

One afternoon just before Christmas an old gentleman was walking through the city centre. The gaily illuminated shops were packed with good things and crowded with cheerful shoppers. Suddenly in the middle of the crowd he noticed a dirty little boy sitting on the pavement, weeping bitterly. When the kind old man asked him why he was crying, the little boy told him that he had lost a ten penny coin that his uncle had given him. Thrusting his hand into his pocket, the old man pulled out a handful of coins. He picked out a shiny, new ten penny coin and handed it to the child. "Thank you very much," said the little boy, and, drying his eyes, he cheered up at once. An hour or so later the old man was making his way back home by the same route. To his astonishment he saw the same dirty little boy in precisely the same spot, crying just as bitterly as before. He went up to the boy and asked him if he had lost the ten pence he had given him as well. The little boy told him that actually he had not lost the second coin, but he still could not find his first ten pence, "If I could find my own ten pence," he said tearfully, "I'd have twenty pence now."

24 What's the time?

A tramp was sleeping on a park bench late at night. A man and woman were walking past. One of them tapped him on I shoulder and asked, "Excuse me! What's the time?" The tramp was very annoyed at being woken up. "I don't know!" he said angrily. "I haven't got a watch." And he went back to sleep. Some time later another man was passing. He woke the tramp and said, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I wonder if you соuld tell me what time it is." Again the tramp said that he didn't know. By now he was fed up, so he got a pen and a piece of paper and wrote I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE TIME IS on it, and went back to sleep. Half an hour later, a policeman was passing. He read the sign, woke the tramp up and said, "It's 2.30, sir."

tramp - бродяга

25 Poor Rosemary

Rosemary Smith was robbed about an hour ago while she was walking home from work. She's at the police station now, and she's having a lot of trouble giving the police information. She knows that a man robbed her an hour ago, but she simply can't remember any of the details. She has forgotten how tall the man was. She isn't sure how heavy he was. She can't remember what colour hair he had. She has no idea what colour eyes he had. She doesn't remember what he was wearing. She doesn't know what kind of car he was driving. She can't remember what colour the car was. She has no idea what the license number was. And she doesn't even know how much money was taken! Poor Rosemary! The police want to help her, but she can't remember any of the details.

Note: license амер. = licence

26 Job interview

Charles had a job interview a few days ago at the United Insurance Company. The interview lasted almost an hour and Charles had to answer a lot of questions. First, the interviewer asked Charles where he had gone to school. Then, she asked if he had had any special training. She asked where he had worked. She also asked him whether he was willing to move to another city. She wanted to know if he could work overtime and weekends. She asked him how his health was. She asked him whether he had ever been fired. She wanted to know why he had had four different jobs in the past year.

And finally, the interviewer asked the most difficult question. She wanted to know why Charles thought he was more qualified for the position than the other sixty-two people who had applied, Charles had never been asked so many questions at a job interview before. He doesn't know how well he did, but he tried his best.

27 The Doctor's Advice

One day an old man went to see a doctor. The doctor examined him and said, "Medicine won't help you. You must have a rest. Go to a quiet country place for a month, go to bed early, drink milk, walk a lot and smoke only one cigar a day "Thank you very much," said the old man. "I'll do everything you say."

A month later the man came to the doctor again. "How do you do?" said the doctor. "I'm very glad to see you. You look much younger." "Oh, doctor," said the man, "I'm quite well now. I had a good rest. I went to bed early. I drank a lot of milk, I walked a lot. Your advice certainly helped me. But you told me to smoke one cigar a day and that one cigar a day almost killed me at first. It's no joke to start smoking at my age."

28 A Skiing Holiday

Robert was skiing down a mountain with a tall, beautiful American girl. Her name was Isabel and he had met her only the day before. Isabel was a very good skier. The ski run twisted and turned but she went round all the curves very fast. Robert tried to do the same. Suddenly, he fell. He felt a sharp pain in his ankle while he was lying in the snow. Isabel came back. Another skier, a handsome young man, stopped as well. The two of them helped Robert to get back to the hotel. There was a doctor there. The doctor was a Scotsman. He was married to a Swiss girl. That was why he was working in Switzerland.

"Hmm," he said when he saw Robert's ankle, and shook his head.

"I haven't broken it, have I?" Robert asked hopefully.

"No, but you've twisted it badly."

"You mean I've sprained it?"

"Yes, I'm afraid so. And it's badly bruised and swollen," the doctor answered, pointing to the dark blue marks on Robert's ankle, which was now getting bigger. Robert lay back with a groan. No more skiing for him! Just then he heard Isabel laughing on the terrace. He could see her. She was smiling at the young man.

29 At the Dentist's

The tooth had been bothering David for some time. He knew he should have gone to the dentist's earlier. But in spite of the pain he had put it off. He always put off going to the dentist as long as possible. The dentist smiled pleasantly at first. David told him that the tooth had kept him awake the night before. Then the dentist looked into his mouth, but he did not look only at the one tooth. Instead he looked them all over. "Hmm," he said. "I'm afraid several of your teeth need seeing to." He smiled again. But this time it was a rather grim smile. He began to describe exactly what needed doing. David listened to him with a kind of sick feeling in his stomach. "I should say that at least four teeth have cavities and then some of your old fillings are loose. We'll have to see to them immediately!" David asked about the tooth that had been aching. "I may be able to save it," the dentist said, and smiled grimly again. He got his electric drill ready. "Now," he said with another grim smile, "this shouldn't hurt too much,"

30 An American Business

This story is about an American general who was a very important person in the American Army during the First World War. Everybody in the United States knew him and many people wanted to have his photo or any other of his things in their homes. When the war was over the general returned home. He lived in Washington and worked in the office in which he had worked before the war. His health was poor. Very often he had a terrible toothache. One day he went to a dentist. The dentist pulled out his six bad teeth. A week later the general heard that some shops were selling his extracted teeth. One tooth cost 5 dollars. On each of the teeth there was a label with the name of the general. The general became very angry. He did not know what to do. Then an idea came to his mind. He told his six officers to go around the city and buy all his extracted teeth. The officers left the office in the morning and visited a lot of shops in the capital. They were running from shop to shop all day long. In the evening they returned to the office and put all the teeth on the table in front of the general. They had bought 175 teeth.

31 T he "Doctor's Help

T here was a bookseller who did not like paying for anything. One day he let a big box of books fall on his foot. Go to the doctor," said his wife, "and show that foot to him." "No," he said. "I'll wait until the doctor comes into the shop next time. Then I'll ask him about my foot. If I go to see him, I hill have to pay him." On the next day the doctor came into the shop and bought some books. When the bookseller was getting them ready, he told the doctor about his bad foot. The doctor looked at it. Yes," said the doctor. "You must put that foot in hot water every night. Then you must put something on it." He took out a piece of paper and wrote on it. "Buy this and put it on the foot before you go to bed every night," he said. "Thank you," said the bookseller. "And now, sir, here are your books." "How much?" said the doctor. "Two pounds." "Good," said the doctor. "I shall not have to pay you anything» "Why?" asked the bookseller. "I told you about your foot. I want two pounds for that. If people come to my house, I ask them to pay one pound for it small thing like that. But when I go to their houses, I want two pounds. And I came here, didn't I? Good morning."