Инсценировки «Школа» (англйский язык)

Mum, 2 daughters/ At home after school

Two little girls came home from school.

1^st daughter: Mum, can you write with closed eyes?

Mum: I think so. What is it you want me to write?

1^st daughter:Your name on this report card.

Mum: WhY???

1^st daughter: Mommy, today at school I was punished for something that I didn't do.

Mum: But that's terrible! I'm going to have a talk with your teacher about this … by the way, what was it that you didn't do?

1^st daughter: My homework.

2^nd daughter: Our teacher has a bad memory. For three days she asked us how much is two and two. We told her it was four. But she still doesn't know. Today she asked us again!

1^st daughter: Our teacher talks to herself, does yours ?

2^nd daughter:Yes, but she doesn't realise it, she thinks we're actually listening!

2^nd daughter: Mum, I got 4 in school today.

Mother: Wonderful. What did you get 4 in?

2^nd daughter: Two things: I got 2 in Music and 2 in Science

Mother: Well, at least you can count and add!

1^st daughter: I'm not going back to school ever again.

Mum:Why ever not?

1^st daughter: The teacher doesn't know anything, all she does is ask questions.

At the Maths lesson

Teacher: Hello, Children. We are having Maths.

Fedya and Sasha: Hello! Sorry to be late. May we come in?

Teacher: Why are you late, Fedya?

Fedya: Because of a sign down the road.

Teacher: What does a sign have to do with your being late?

Fedya: The sign said, "School Ahead, Go Slow!"

Teacher: Why are you late, Sasha?

Sasha: Sorry, teacher, I overslept.

Teacher: You mean you need to sleep at home too! You always sleep at school!

Teacher: Let's start with a quiz on counting. Lera! (Lera counts from 1 to 10)

Teacher: Now, Trofim, you take over, beginning with 11.

Trofim: 11, 14, 23, 42, 26

Teacher: What kind of counting is that ?

Trofim: Who's counting? I'm calling signals.

TEACHER: Julia, Can you count from 1 to 20?
Julia: I'm not sure. How about if I just count from 1 to 10 twice?

Teacher: What's 2 and 2?
Atur: 4.
Teacher: That's good.
Artur: Good ? That's perfect!

Teacher: How much is half of 8?

Julia K: Up and down or across?

Teacher: What do you mean?

Julia K: Well, up and down makes a 3 or across the middle leaves a 0

Teacher: Your ideas are like diamonds.

Julia K: Are they so valuable?

Teacher: No, they are so rare.

Teacher : What are you doing, crawling into school ten minutes late ?

Marsel: Well you told me never to walk into school ten minutes late!

TEACHER: Did you do your homework?
Marsel: No teacher.
TEACHER: Do you have an excuse?
Marsel: Yes, it's all my mother's fault.
TEACHER: She kept you from doing it?
Marsel: No, she didn't nag me enough!

Teacher: Now we are checking your homework. Tonya, where is your homework?

Tonya: My dog ate it.

Teacher: And where is your dog right now?

Tonya: She's at the vet. She doesn't like Maths any more than I do.

Teacher: Poor dog!

Teacher: Why have you got cotton wool in your ears? Do you have an infection?

Anzhela: Well… you keep saying that things go in one ear and out the other. So I am trying to keep them all in my head!

The teacher: Nastya, suppose, there were 10 sheep and six of them jumped over a fence. How many sheep were there?

Nastya: There were no sheep left.

Teacher: Why? Nastya, you don't know Maths

Nastya: Teacher, you don't know your sheep. When one goes, they all go!

Teacher: If I gave you three rabbits today and five rabbits tomorrow, how many rabbits would you have?

Lena: Nine.

Teacher: That's not right, you'd have eight.

Lena: No, Teacher, I'd have nine. I already have one rabbit at home!

Teacher: If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?

Lera: One dollar.

Teacher: You can't do sums.

Lera: You don't know my father!

Teacher : If you had five apples on your desk and the boy next to you took three what would you have ?

Valera: A fight !

Teacher: Oh, my God!